No one knows what its like....
Walk a mile in my shoes before you tell me to smile !
- Waking up is like opening your eyes each morning to a world on fire. Its loud scary and sends chills down your spine. You can think or move as fear grips you on every side.
- Cold sweats / Hot sweats , Nausea and a sick stomach . Sometimes it leads to vomiting and bathroom trips.
- Thoughts running through your mind its like trying to catch fire flys swarming you every step you take.
Thanks just getting up..
- Then its trying to get out of the house. but first you have to get out of the bed. The covers and pillow are your only friend and you dont want to leave them.
- Sleep is your drug and its a sleep that never lasts long enough. You chase it like chasing the wind and its gone before you can hold onto it long enough.
- So you talk yourself into getting up and into the shower. You look at yourself in the mirror and cant believe what you have become. You see the lifeless look in your face and eyes and remember when you were a child with joy.
- You climb into the shower and just let the water pound you like needles running all over you soul. You dont want to leave that brief moment of fleeting pleasure but you know it must end.
- Next its getting dressed and wondering whats the point of even looking good.. Style and dress no longer matter as you put on your clothes which are either now too big or too small. depends if you stopped eating long ago or cant stop.
- Then comes facing that front door and the fears of what is out there- oh not monsters and danger -no they dont scare you. no its the fears of talking to people, interacting and dealing with life issues like work and driving and being in public
- Then there is your family and friends which each day you must play the game of fake smiles and small talk. waiting for the same old questions and comments . Ones like: are you ok ? How are you feeling ? Why not try to shake it off or cheer up- you have so much to live for and your so wonderful. Why dont you just snap out of it.
- Then there are the secret whispers you hear behind each door - Oh she or he just doesnt want to face life, they are lazy and playing us all for our sympathy. Their just playing the system so they dont have to work, they just done want to try . They are feeling sorry for themselves and want us to buy into their pity party.
And thats just the day time....
But there is a high side which we dream of...
Its coming home and getting there as fast as we can.
running to our bed and waiting for night to fall so sleep can captivate us again.
The Night is our solace and joy
And lets not forget about the days long pondering of ways to take your life.
Maybe just turning into an oncoming car or jumping into traffic.
Thought after thought of how our end would show them how real this is..
So dont tell us to snap out of it...you know not what one minute of my life is like..
Dear friends -
I know the day in the life of one dealing with Depression and Anxiety.
I know every single ugly inch of it but I also know the other side...
BEATING IT !!!
You can but not alone-
Christ is what Christ Offers - PEACE , JOY, SAFETY, and NEW LIFE
Please call out to Him today and He will hear you...Ask Him to take control, save your soul forgive your sins ,and become Lord of all in your Life.
2 Tim 1:7 For God has not giving us the spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind
Please check out my 2 Books
Depression anxiety and the child of GOD Pt 1 and Pt 2
Get them on Amazon
