Ourselves Alone - Shinfane The Loneliness that hurts so much

Ourselves Alone - Shinfane 

A while back I learned of this term- “Ourselves Alone”. it’s a Gallic Irish term from the Irish rebellion of years gone by. Its pronounced Shin-Fane.  For some reason the term jumped out at me and hit a cord. Ourselves Alone !. I tell you in my whole life I have not feared  anything more then- being alone, living alone, suffering alone growing old alone and dying alone. I think in many ways our pain- Anxiety and Depression; They are a very alone type thing. In depression I have felt very alone as no one really understands what I feel other then others like you and I . But Of anxiety I think that makes me really feel alone. That heavy feeling in my chest, that oppressiveness and darkness. That overwhelming feeling of impending doom. it’s a scary place and an empty place. It is in deep Anxiety or even daily consistent low level anxiety that I feel the most alone. It is in this place of anxiety that I am more prone to run to ANY thing to relive this pain. When I say anything I mean anything as even one minute relief from it is worth it. Which is why we often run quickly to drugs, drink, sex, porn,  cutting, Same sex relationships, Gender manipulation, and/or some self destructive behavior that does ( temporally ) relieve  the pain. The running into the unknown hoping to find the answer. They all offer escape which is why sleeping is the favorite of us all. You know I think I understand how Michael Jackson felt as he would desire to be “put under” by some drug just to simply escape the reality of this life. Sometimes I wish I could be put under and have often felt this sick excitement of going in for some surgery simply because I knew I will be completely out if just for a fleeting few hours. I think this is why many of us run to suicide. It is the escape we all desire when this loneliness comes over like a flood. As to Suicide well the fear that keeps me from it is this- Is it really an escape or maybe just entering something I really know nothing about. What if I find in death that there is no escape at all but an entering into something that I can never escape from. That unknown article has saved me many times from that trip.  So Well I am thankful that I have not went too far with the suicide or I would not be here to share my healing. Anyway the point I want to make today is- overcoming this Loneliness and how it is  the key to overcoming it all. To never be lonely ever ! To not feel alone in a crowded room. To not fear living alone or dying alone. Or worse growing old alone. To not fear simply stepping out of my bedroom.  This my friends is key and it is a loneliness that can only be beaten by a power bigger then just people, circumstances, drugs -legal or illegal , or therapy . Then just a lover or friend can give. Yes we have had those to and still felt the pain of being alone.  Even money cant beat the feeling as we see many celebrities still suffer despite their wealth. -Over the next month we will dig into this issue and then find the ultimate exterminator of this loneliness. I pray you all stick around for this journey..  Relief is coming, healing is coming, and most of all- happiness is coming.

S.R. Kraniak Th,B - M.M.C.C.

Not just a mental health care provider but one who has lived life on the dark side.

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Depression Anxiety and the Child of God pt one and two 

By Yorkshire Press