Lets talk about taking our lives.
For those of you who have been there you know the deal. It gets old, life gets tired, the anxiety is a living Hell, people don't understand, the love life is non existent and money is almost gone.
You think of your future and you see nothing but darkness. You wonder who will really care if you were gone - you wonder if you will really find peace on the other side.
You think of many ways of doing this, they run through your head constantly.
Driving down the road you wonder about just driving off the edge. In time it becomes an obsession that you cant get out of your head. Facing one more day is just too much to bare. Your angry, bitter and if there is a God you wish you could spit in His face.
Night time is your best time because you know its an excuse to sleep. Oh sleep just to sleep and wake up that is was all a bad dream. The morning comes and its the worst time for you.. It only means you have to face it all over again.
You wonder why life has to be this way. It started out OK as a child and then you wonder how you ended up so cold, empty, alone and afraid. Your tired of crying till you cant cry anymore and you don't even have the strength to shower or dress and don't even care.
You've either gained so much weight that you cant stand yourself or you have lost so much weight that your a sick looking shadow of what you once were.
You have tried so many medications that you wonder if your Dr really knows what he is doing.
You've read all the books, and tried all the get better fast tricks and all were a lie.
Your tired of people telling you to just snap out of it, to just smile, to be happy or those who tell you your just faking so you don't have to face the real world. Your tired of letting everyone down
You think your the ugliest person to walk the earth and you hate everything about you. You tried drugs and drinking to hide the pain. You try cutting and self harm and they are all just a temporary fix which just leaves you back where you started. You see the scars on your body and wonder which scars are worst the ones on the outside or inside. You watch people in life who have lives, and are smiling and their joy only makes your darkness feel worse. Taking a breath sometime takes all that you are and in that breath its as if your breathing in the pain and sorrow. The depression is actually a heavy feeling that centers around your heart and chest area. You don't ask for much - just to be happy, normal, loved, held and cared for. Is that too much to want to just be happy ? You look in the mirror and cant even believe how far you have fallen.
You've followed every fad in order to fit in or stand out. From hair color to styles from chains leather and lust to flowers balloons and poems. Yet nothing changes and your just another day older.
For the girls you sold your bodies and souls just to simply be loved only to be lied to and abused by one guy after another. You've done things to get love that your ashamed of but if it gave you a moment of peace maybe you think it was worth it.
For you guys - you have also tried to find love but have been burnt too many times. Next thing you know your only friend is your porn and your sexual addition that brings joy for 7 minutes and then leaves you empty and feeling dirty- You have masturbated until you bled .The rush fades and your back to your empty self of pain.
So - where does that leave us ? Why am I writing this to you ? Whats my purpose ?
Well dear friend I write this to you tonight because I know that all over the world there are people just like you. You want answers and you want hope.
I know that there are people right now - Maybe you in Russia, China , USA, France, or anywhere out there just wanting someone to understand and say - Come my child I will take away the pain.
Yet you dont believe it because all your hope and trust in people is gone.
Well - There is an answer, there is hope and there is a solution and its NOT suicide ! See Suicide in not a solution but an action. It moves you from point A to point B but you really dont know what that point B is and that scares you.
So with all of that said -
If your interested in a step by step process to break out and break free and be whole again- well let me know and follow this Blog Series that I am starting today..
So - HOLD ON and tune in.. every few days I will give you a little bit more of the secrete and in the mean time my request from you is - HOLD ON ONE MORE DAY...
Hold on and KNOW that you can be set free. Hold on an know that someone really does love and care for you...
SR KRANIAK
